Hi, I'm Iris
I'm Iris Schotsman. What has occupied me for years is the same, whether it's a couple, someone on their own, or someone dating again: how is it that we so often miss each other, and ourselves, and what does it take to break that? That's what my work is about.
My way here wasn't a straight line. I studied international law and worked as a flight attendant at KLM for 14 years. There I saw up close how communication makes misunderstandings rather than resolving them, and how rare it is to truly listen. It wouldn't let me go; in the end I chose to make it my work. I started my relationship coaching practice in 2018.
Honestly, though: I didn't come to this work because I had everything figured out. I know it myself, getting stuck in the same conversation, shutting down where you wanted to stay open, thinking you're listening while your answer is already loaded. What I guide others through, I've had to learn in my own way. That doesn't make me a perfect example; it makes me someone who knows how hard this is. And how much it is worth to change this.
I've guided many couples and individuals through infidelity, separation, and stuck communication patterns.
Since 2018 I've done that as a coach, trained at Sonnevelt and accredited by the SNRO. I guide couples and individuals in Uithoorn, Amsterdam and Amstelveen, on location if needed, and online. You can also come to me for separation guidance or infidelity support.
I'm married, mother of three children, and we have a dog. There's no life without friction, mine included.
My background
Training and certification
I'm certified via Sonnevelt, a renowned Dutch coaching training institute. My training and methods are accredited by the SNRO (Dutch Register for Professional Competences).
That accreditation means my work meets high professional standards, and that you can be confident you're in good hands.
Experience since 2018
Since 2018 I've been guiding couples and individuals through difficult periods, in a relationship, while dating, or through a separation. I work practically and solution-focused: not to assign blame, but to see what's needed to move forward.
What moves me in every journey: the courage people show to face their own patterns and do something about them. That deserves respect, and that's exactly what they get.
My approach
I don't work from a standard program. Every situation is unique, so every coaching journey is unique too. What I do bring: a combination of practical exercises, honest reflection, and a healthy dose of common sense.
I believe this work isn't a place for airy-fairy theory. It's about what you can already do today, tomorrow, next week, whether you're working together or on your own. Small changes can have big impact.
Since 2020, I've also been working more frequently with expats and international couples. I speak both Dutch and English fluently, and I understand how language and culture can affect communication.
Let's get acquainted
An initial conversation is always free and without obligation. This way you can feel whether the connection is there. No strings attached.