Hi, I'm Iris

Two people who both mean well and still don't reach each other. I see it with couples, with individuals, and with people dating again. How that happens, and what it takes to break it: that's what my work is about.

I'm Iris Schotsman. My way here wasn't a straight line. I studied international law and then worked as a flight attendant at KLM for 13 years. There I saw up close how communication makes misunderstandings rather than resolving them, and how rare it is to truly listen. It wouldn't let me go, and in the end I chose to make it my work.

Getting stuck in the same argument. Shutting down right where you wanted to stay open. Thinking you're listening while your answer is already loaded. I know all of it up close, and not only from my practice. What I guide others through, I've had to learn in my own way. That doesn't make me a perfect example; it makes me someone who knows how hard this is, and how much it's worth going through anyway.

I've guided many couples and individuals through infidelity, separation, and stuck communication patterns.

As a certified relationship coach I work practically and forward-looking, trained at Sonnevelt Opleidingen, a programme accredited by the SNRO. I guide couples, individuals and internationals in Uithoorn, Amsterdam, Amstelveen and the surrounding area — in English or Dutch — and online. You can also come to me during a separation: not to stay together at all costs, but to make a decision with respect. If something heavier calls for clinical care, I'll refer you to the right help.

I'm married and a mother of three children.