How I work
Coaching isn't a fixed program, it's a process we go through together, whether you come as a couple or on your own. Below you'll find how a typical journey looks, from the first introduction to the results you're aiming for. Individual coaching works in exactly the same way, just focused on your personal question.
Getting acquainted
Every journey starts with a free phone or video call of around 15 minutes. We get acquainted, I ask about your situation, and we check whether the connection is there. We only proceed once you feel comfortable.
This call is free and without obligation. No need to prepare anything, just be honest about what you're hoping for.
Working together
Follow-up sessions usually last 60 to 90 minutes. We decide on frequency together: some people come weekly, others every two weeks.
Sessions are available in Uithoorn (my practice), online via video, or on-site if that works better. Wherever suits you, or the two of you, best.
Progress
You'll notice changes in how you talk, listen, and stay connected, with your partner, or with yourself. That doesn't happen overnight, but with the right guidance and some practice, results become increasingly visible.
Between sessions, you'll receive practical exercises to take home. Small things you can do to integrate what you've learned. This way it becomes a learning process, for you, or for the two of you together, not just something that happens during the session.
Clear, step by step
Working on what you want to build, not on what went wrong.
Directive, not open-ended. You get tools and exercises you can use today.
You are whole and capable, just missing a few skills. Coaching is not therapy, not healthcare, not a medical framework, not a medical record.
Usually 4 to 12 sessions, with a clear direction. No obligation to "finish", only what makes sense.
What you can do today
Small start, immediately noticeable. Three small things you can try now, before you even book.
- Ask yourself or your partner on a scale of 1-10: how much room is there for a conversation right now? Below 5? No heavy talk today. Above 7? It'll work. The question itself prevents an escalation you would otherwise have had.
- After an outburst: 20 to 30 minutes with no contact, to come back to yourself. A walk, a few slow breaths, something physical. Once the sharp edges have worn off: "Can we try again?"
- A twenty-second hug is no small thing. That's how long it takes for your body to release the tension and feel connected again. Three times a week is already noticeable.
Location options
Uithoorn
My home practice in Uithoorn. Quietly located, away from the bustle, space to see clearly. Free parking in the street.
Noorse Lijster 12, 1423RZ Uithoorn
Online
Video sessions via Zoom or Teams. Convenient if meeting in person is difficult, or if you don't live nearby.
On-site
Sessions at your home or another location of your choice. Convenient if childcare is difficult, or if you have specific reasons for not traveling.
What happens in the sessions
Every trajectory is custom, but this gives you a picture of what to expect session by session. You know what you're getting into, no surprises.
Session 1: Getting acquainted and mapping the pattern
We discuss what's going on and why you came. For couples: what's the recurring conflict or the silence that keeps emerging? For individuals: which pattern do you want to break? We map it without judgment.
Sessions 2-3: Practicing different responses
We look at concrete situations from your daily life. What exactly happens, what do you feel, and what would you like to do differently? You get tools to practice with, small, concrete, applicable.
Sessions 4-6: Anchoring the new behavior
The new behavior becomes more familiar. We evaluate what works and adjust what doesn't. The focus shifts from "learning in the session" to "applying in life". You'll notice it becomes easier to respond differently.
Session 7+: Deeper work or wrapping up
Depending on your question: do we go deeper into underlying patterns, or are you ready to continue independently? We decide together if you've had enough or if you want to continue. No obligation to "finish", only what makes sense.
Frequently asked questions about my approach
How long does a coaching journey take?
That depends on your situation and goal, see it as a direction, not a promise. A well-defined question often calls for a short trajectory; something deeper takes a bit more time. You're never locked in: we set a direction together during the free intro call and evaluate along the way.
Do we both need to participate?
No. Individual coaching stands on its own, you can come alone and achieve a lot, focused on your own question. If you're working on the relationship together, it does help when both partners take part. Whether you start together or solo is something we decide during the introduction, to fit your situation.
What if my partner doesn't want to join?
That's a common concern, but you don't need your partner to begin. Sometimes working solo is enough, for your own clarity, your own calm, your own choices. You work on your own patterns, at your own pace. What happens with the relationship afterwards is not yours to carry alone. Let's discuss this personally.
Ready to get started?
Schedule a free intro call and discover whether we're a good match.